A Personal Struggle: Learning To Ask For Help

My substance use was my dirty little secret. Most people didn’t know how deeply challenged I was emotionally and mentally every single day. To add to my personal dysfunction, I worked as a helping professional. I helped other people. This was part of my co-dependency and self-worth. I didn’t feel any love and compassion for myself but I had these qualities for others. Having these qualities for other people made me feel a sense of worthiness. If I could do good in this world then I could feel good about myself. As a helping professional, I kept my issues to myself. Stuffing and repressing my struggle in complete denial that all areas of my life were being affected by my substance use, my mental health and my trauma. I had been “functioning” so well for so long, the truth was masked by accomplishments and good deeds. I really thought if I could give enough to others, I would feel better about myself. It was never enough.I judged myself as a fraud. How could I support others in making changes in their lives when I was struggling to make my own. Asking for help was so challenging. It felt like defeat but in fact it became the beginning of change and transformation. Surrender to a new way of living is a scary yet beautiful thing. What’s been your experience with asking for help?

2 Comments

  1. Wes on August 10, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    I agree! Becoming willing to ask for help is what started me off on the amazing process I’m on today. I had to open myself to trusting people and feeling worthy to receive in order to do so, but I’m in a much better place today for doing so.

    • beverlysa on August 10, 2015 at 4:10 pm

      Yes, it’s an amazing thing. I was holding myself back, thinking I was protecting myself from more shame. However, that way of thinking was keeping me stuck in my stuff. When I was done with that first session, it felt like a weight lifted off of me. Lots of people relate to having difficulties in asking for help. Our ego holds us back telling us to stay small…

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