Recovery As Unique As You
By Melissa Riddle Chalos
A writer for The Life Challenge.
When it comes to recovery, most people assume there’s a singular path. A set of definitive steps that, once achieved, move you further and further away from addiction or depression or whatever issue previously distorted or defined your life.
But that assumption is an oversimplification at best. Certainly, there are programs and processes that have made recovery more possible for those struggling with behavioral and mental health issues:
· Intervention
· Detox
· Inpatient or outpatient rehab
· Group therapy
· Family counseling
· Private counseling
· 12-Step meetings
· Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
· Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
For those who are willing and motivated to participate in these (and other) processes improve their chances at a healthier, purpose-filled lives — definitely in the short term and hopefully for the long haul.
But even though the road to life-long recovery has a bunch of similar stops along the way, every person’s path is different because every person is unique. Every person’s story is his or her own. For better or for worse, no one else can tell your story authentically … because it belongs to you.
“I started to forge my own way of taking care of myself in recovery that included diet, that included exercise and included finding community and finding a spiritual path. My spiritual path didn’t have to look like anybody else’s. That awakening really helped me.
As I realized my path had to be my own, my family seemed to realize that at the same time. They would provide support and let me know they were there for me but they also just kind of stepped back and trusted me to find my own path. I believe that trust in me also helped me truly find recovery.” – Lauren S. shares with Heroes in Recovery.
Your story, your path, may have many curves in the road, some screeching halts, a bunch of do-overs and many mistakes along the way. But hopefully, in each of those chapters, you have will always make recovery your priority, never missing an opportunity to grow and learn from your past. Every poor decision, every broken place in the road, gives you an opportunity to fight another day for the life you want.
By choosing to deal openly and honestly with the challenges in your life — addictions or other issues — you are choosing to feel. To acknowledge your emotions instead of medicating them, to work through the uncomfortable places in life and to come out on the other side, stronger, more resilient and fully present in your life. This kind of sobriety takes daily intention, but it doesn’t make you exempt from trouble.
I love the way Rose Lockinger puts it: “Sobriety is a way of life.” she writes, “Since life has ups and downs, happiness and sadness; sobriety will have that as well. There will be times when I experience joy that is indescribable, and there will be times that I experience the depths of despair, because in the end I am human, and in the end, I am participating in life.”
When your recovery story takes a hard or unforeseeable turn, you have choices.
Reach out to get your land legs – When the difference between perception and reality seems hazy, when you can’t trust your instincts because your emotions are raw, it’s time to reach out. Call a friend, your sponsor, a family member — anyone who knows your story and who can listen and support you in a fragile moment.
Reestablish your present reality and purpose – if your past continues to press in on your present, it’s time to — once and for good — let go of it. Whether you’ve followed the 12-Steps or taken other steps to make amends for past wrongs, whether you’ve received the forgiveness you’ve asked for, it’s time to forgive yourself and focus on today. What can you do today? For what are you thankful today? What is within your grasp today? What truth can you live out today?
“One thing to remember is that your passion and purpose are ever evolving, taking new forms as you grow,” writes Shelcy V. Joseph in Forbes. “Be patient, continue to learn, and be willing to take risks when you come across something unchartered or a road less traveled.”
Share and find strength in sharing your story – “The universe presents us with endless opportunities to synchronize our path with our truth,” writes Jeff Brown, author, filmmaker and teacher. That synchronization is important because in telling our stories, we’re not only reminding ourselves that truth is what keeps us grounded, but also in that truth we find strength and purpose. In the telling, there is a certain surrendering, a reminder of the beauty of our humanity. And for those with whom we share, our story plants a seed of hope.
Wherever you are on the path to recovery, remember: it’s your path. It might not look like anyone else’s. It’s your story. Keep moving forward, keep focusing on the next step, and keep sharing it … because it matters.
