Posts by Beverly Sartain

Blog inspired by a coaching session I had today where I was coached. My partner had reached out to me, asking if we could coach together. It was divine intervention, magical and meant to be. My desired state was making more money in 2016 than in my first year of business. As I dove into the the desired state it unfolded into allowing myself to be guided by God. This was quite the revelation and felt like a new level of my spirituality. I literally felt myself climbing the ladder of the learning and love line! I am ascending. I used the word expansion many times as my energy, light and love feel like they are moving outward from my core loving essence. Old stuff came forward as over sense of responsibility. We dove deeper into it as the reflections percolated and dropped me in even further. Responsibility was really about “going it alone” for so long. It’s been a misunderstanding for some time, a good one at that. Going it alone got named self-reliance which is exactly the experience of it. Such great things have come from self-reliance. I got to acknowledge and honor this part of myself that has done such a great job of getting me here. Yet there is a calling inside that it is time to turn it over even more. I always get the visual of riding a horse and holding the reigns. I’ve loosened my grip over the years, however, I’m ready to let go now. I’m ready to be guided. I’m ready to be lead by something greater than myself. I am ready to not relinquish creation but to co-create in a new way. I’ve been especially in the flow lately and today solidified that God is available and present to me ALL the time. I forgive myself for buying into the misunderstanding that I have to go it alone. The truth is that I’ve never gone it alone. I forgive myself for buying into a misbelief that doesn’t serve me. The truth is am guided, loved and supported now and allow that experience even more inside of myself.

I was 27 years old, 6 months sober and had just started a Spiritual Psychology Master’s degree program. Much had changed in a short period of time, but I still carried unexpressed shame within myself. It had taken almost 6 months for me to start feeling again, and the thought of dealing with the feeling of shame was daunting.

The shame ran deep. Shame about past choices, consequences, lost relationships, self-abandonment and self-loathing. How could someone dislike themselves so much?

I was ashamed of my inability to love myself, to even know what that meant or how to do that. Ashamed that there was a part of me that didn’t really want to take responsibility for my life and get better. Ashamed of my continued use after my father had died of cirrhosis of the liver. Ashamed that I couldn’t just pull it together and get back on track. Shame around untapped potential within myself to live a beautiful life.

The emotional pain was tremendous. I knew that I had to change my thinking or I would not maintain my sobriety. I knew that my recovery was NOT about not drinking but was ALL about healing what was unresolved inside of me.

I’ll never forget the day I heard, “I’m a spiritual being having a human experience.” Everything changed. It was a the first time I saw myself as divine. If I was divine and having a human experience than I could forgive myself for my past behavior. If I was divine and having a human experience than my behavior didn’t define who I was at the core my divinity did. If I was divine and having a human experience than I was unconditional love and could have self-compassion for my humanness.

It all made sense. It resonated. It was empowering. It supported me in taking responsibility for myself and for taking better care of myself mentally, emotionally, physically and spirituality. It made me feel connected to myself and other people who were also experiencing their humanness as truth.

I dedicated myself to the practices and principles of Spiritual Psychology. Now, I enjoy teaching other people how to resolve what’s unresolved inside so that they can get sober for good and live a conscious life. My recovery has been a beautiful experience: a spiritual awakening, self-forgiveness and acceptance of the past, being of service and now full expression through my own coaching business. May we all use our recovery story to lift others up and support people in their full potential.

Check out Beverly’s blog at www.recoverylifemanagement.com. Beverly also posts weekly Tuesday Recovery Tips on her FB business page Recovery Life Management. If you would like to have a FREE Discovery Session with Beverly schedule through http://recoverylifemanagement.fullslate.com/ or call (619) 567-9896.

I had been undecided for many years: therapist or coach? People had been telling me, “You need to do your own thing.” I totally agreed, just didn’t know what that was or how that looked. Following the mainstream, social work, mental health counseling or marriage and family therapy would have been calling my name. However, I tend to be someone who walks to the beat of my own drum and carves out a space for my own way of being.

Made A Decision
After receiving much feedback from the Universe and checking in with my intuition, I made a decision to become a coach. As I look back on it now, it was quite similar to the moment I chose recovery. It was like a light switch being flicked up with clarity, intentionality and focus. It was decided; I was going to become a coach that specialized in recovery.

Found A Springboard
My decision entailed moving back to California, finding a new job and going to coaching school. Oddly enough, I stumbled upon employment coaching on a behavioral health platform. I immediately applied, set up an interview and had a connected, knowledgable, compassionate conversation with an incredible leader who would become my boss! It was an effortless process that would prove to enhance my tech skills and connect me with a larger audience of people working on substance abuse, mental health and trauma issues.

Enrolled In Coaching School
I had already done my research and spoken to the founder and facilitator of Crossroads Recovery Coaching School. I was able to attend the year long tele-classes while gaining work experience as a coach. I committed to the program by completing all the course work and using the experience to become a credentialed coach through ICF. I am currently in the process of becoming an Associate Certified Coach. Waiting to hear back, fingers crossed!

Hired a Mentor Coach
While attending recovery coaching school, I hired a mentor coach to support me in starting my own business. Hiring a mentor coach was the best decision I made for myself and my business. I knew that if I wanted to coach others, I needed to have the experience of being coached. The support and accountability, assisted me in getting my business up and running. By the end of coaching school, I already had 10 paying clients. Most people don’t start their business while in school, but I was ready, determined and took action to make my dream a reality.

I couldn’t be happier with my decision to become a coach and start a business. My business is an expression of myself. I’ve been thriving in life for quite some time now and want to see other professionals thrive as well. Perhaps you’ve thought of becoming a coach yourself. I’m all about sharing myself and my resources. Set up some time to speak with me via my appointment setter http://recoverylifemanagement.fullslate.com/ or call me directly at (619) 567-9896.

It seems as though many of us feel that we are just supposed to know our purpose. We spend countless hours thinking about what it could be. Herein lies the issue. Purpose is not found through ruminating in the mind; it’s found within heart connection. I have often seen in my own experience how I blocked the flow of purpose. Purpose is energy and essence. Mental chatter, obsession and figuring it out all create resistance to the process. Purpose is not found mentally; it is found by connecting deeply with yourself and your Heart’s Desire. Most people don’t know their purpose. It’s something that is identified along the way of life. I have found that I thought purpose lied within the recovery process. As my own process has evolved, so is my purpose. That’s why it’s so important to start with some action and move forward from there. Release the pressure of needing to have all the answers and have it all figured out right now. What’s one step you can take to start connecting with purpose? And if you are connecting with purpose, how did you get in alignment?!

I’m learning that wealth consciousness is a mindset!
I’m someone who is inundated by coaches trying to sell their products and services. I’ve been having so much fun learning about what different coaches are doing with their work. I’ve seen my own process evolving and expanding. My shifts have come from moving through fear that continues to come forward. What’s been so great about the last 6 months has been my ability to be with the fear and move forward anyway. I see my wealth consciousness evolving and it’s quite amazing. I’ve invested $18,000 into coaches and trainings this past year and a half and I’ve made it all back and then some! I’ve seen in my own experience that you have to INVEST in yourself to move through the fear. Money is energy! I knew I had to put out energy to receive it back. This has been such a profound shift. I see so many people that expect things to be different because they think they want it to be different. It takes more than a thought or just saying it. There must be intentional action behind the thoughts and words expressed. You have to show the Universe that you are willing to step into your dreams. No one ever is 100% sure that their actions will lead to what they want in life. However, staying still will never get you there. I’ve also noticed that when I take action I am often lead in a direction that I didn’t even know a possibility. I have learned over the years that my mind is limited in seeing the possibilities for me. My mind often holds me back so when I push through with action, a greater version is created. My heart is open to receiving the greatest version of me in service to the highest good of all concern. Each new level brings new learnings. The more risks I take, the easier it becomes to let go into it and learn and love. My biggest take away has been that you have to invest in yourself for others to invest in you!

It’s not something I talk about a lot but I thought it important to acknowledge my own experience with overdosing. I’ve overdosed twice in my life; one time that left me in the hospital. The truth about drugs and alcohol is that many people are mixing substances without regard how this will combine and effect the body, mind and spirit. My substance use was about annihilation of my Self. I didn’t like myself and wasn’t conscious of treating myself well. I can remember taking ketamine, meth, valium and ecstasy one night while in Miami at The Winter Music Conference. The next day I got into a fight with a friend about using some more drugs and decided to drive back to Gainesville by myself. I took a massive amount of no-doze, drank coffee and Mountain Dew and ended up in the Infirmary. I was in a full panic attack and they transported me to the hospital where I stayed as the drugs left my body. I was so messed up on the aftermath of substances, I had trouble walking. They had to transport me in a wheelchair. I was in a really bad place inside of myself and struggled for many more years. Looking back I can see how disconnected I was to my true self and didn’t care for myself at all. I just wanted to get fucked up and be someone else in my experience. Interestingly enough, it took many more consequences for me to even consider a change. I was pretty far gone and very much connected with doing drugs and drinking almost every day. Life was incredibly difficult back then. I’m grateful that I made it through those situations and was able to make necessary changes in my life to now live my potential and be of service to others. Today, I recognize and honor all those who didn’t make it through, my dad being one of them. May you find freedom in the next life!

There is a difference between willingness and self-will that often gets lost in translation. The AA tradition is against self-will and this againstness can often confuse people around the quality of willingness. Willingness was one of my strongest qualities when I started my process; it remains a strength today. I became willing to do things differently, to look at things differently. Because of my willingness, I changed. Willingness can be defined as a state of being prepared to do something; readiness. Willingness offered me advancement to surrender. To me, self-will is ego. Self-will seems to be a defense mechanism. I often hear people say, “I’m a smart guy, I should be able to figure this out.” This reminds me of self-will. I view this as Authentic Self vs. ego. Most of us go through our entire lives fully connected and living from ego. We buy into a system that tells us to be happy you have to x, y and z. I became willing to look beyond the “suppose to” and started to connect with my heart’s desire. What’s my passion? Who am I really? What’s my purpose in this world? When we can shift to asking these questions, we can create a space that let’s our true self come forward. Willingness is a wonderful quality to cultivate. It can support you in getting in touch with your Authentic Self. How has willingness supported you in your process?

I knew that the way I was living had to stop or I was going to lose everything and, quite possibly, my life as well. After recovering from a 48 hour blackout and totaling my brand new car, I began researching non 12 step inpatient treatment programs with two major goals in mind: 1.) learn how to live without alcohol and prescription drugs and, 2.) reprogram my thinking.
While in treatment, I began to read ‘The Secret’ and was blown away by the message. That alone could be a solid approach to recovery itself. I was actually beginning to be afraid of negative and self defeating thoughts. It taught me to practice gratitude for everything right down to the molecules and atoms that made up my physical body in order to nourish my frequency of love and joy.
I also began practicing mindful meditation which I had always thought was just a bunch of mystical mumbo. I even started journaling, eating a balanced diet and exercising. I was like a sponge for all of the recovery tools that I was being exposed to in treatment; and ya know what… I started to like the man that I saw in the mirror. I began to believe that I was actually capable of living a shiny new holistic life without alcohol or prescription drugs.
Upon leaving treatment, I took a deeper look into SMART Recovery. My case worker in treatment had told me that my recovery plan seemed to be in alignment with SMART, which stands for self management and recovery training. I downloaded their handbook on my Kindle and read it all in two sittings. I was amazed at this approach to recovery and loved how non linear it was.
SMART is based on a 4 point program:
Building and maintaining motivation
Coping with urges
Managing thoughts, feelings and behaviors
Living and maintaining a balanced life
Learning to tolerate short-term discomfort, and accepting that urges won’t feel good for seconds to minutes until they fade enables you to control your behavior. Within a relatively short time — a few days or weeks — you learn to accept short-term discomfort as part of living a healthier life. Your addictive behavior will lose its grip on your life. You’ll understand that using is a choice. Just by understanding that using is a choice and not an inevitable reaction to discomfort, you’re already retraining your brain.
Recovery is different for everyone. Yours may be about changing negative thinking patterns. In addition to abstaining from unwanted behaviors, you also may commit to trying new activities that challenge you. You may choose to create more time for your loved ones. Recovery helps you fill the void — once occupied by your addictive behavior — with healthier thoughts, emotions, activities and challenges that lead you to a more balanced and satisfying life.
I recently became a certified SMART Recovery facilitator in order to help others discover the power of choice in my community. http://smartrecoverykc.org
My recovery theme today consists of 20 minutes of meditation every morning, 1 hour workout 5x weekly + massage at Planet Fitness, enhanced diet and nutrition, daily self help reading, weekly SMART meeting along with online mutual support communities, and 7 hours of sleep each night. I’ve also become very active in the local Toastmasters. I find that the holistic recovery approach works best for me. I also find time to earn a living as a local entrepreneur.

Barry Hudson

My substance use was my dirty little secret. Most people didn’t know how deeply challenged I was emotionally and mentally every single day. To add to my personal dysfunction, I worked as a helping professional. I helped other people. This was part of my co-dependency and self-worth. I didn’t feel any love and compassion for myself but I had these qualities for others. Having these qualities for other people made me feel a sense of worthiness. If I could do good in this world then I could feel good about myself. As a helping professional, I kept my issues to myself. Stuffing and repressing my struggle in complete denial that all areas of my life were being affected by my substance use, my mental health and my trauma. I had been “functioning” so well for so long, the truth was masked by accomplishments and good deeds. I really thought if I could give enough to others, I would feel better about myself. It was never enough.I judged myself as a fraud. How could I support others in making changes in their lives when I was struggling to make my own. Asking for help was so challenging. It felt like defeat but in fact it became the beginning of change and transformation. Surrender to a new way of living is a scary yet beautiful thing. What’s been your experience with asking for help?

No big secret, I don’t resonate with powerlessness. In fact, as I was down in the dumps, hitting my bottom, I still knew there was potential inside of me. I wanted to tap into my power not say that I didn’t have any. I get the notion of surrender and definitely went through a surrendering process to get to my personal power. My personal power is a combination of my Higher Self and energy in action. My emotions were front and center and needed to be felt and dealt with in order to get to the thoughts I was holding in my consciousness. Once I started to clear some of the misunderstandings I had been holding for this lifetime and maybe even before, I started to get in touch with my personal power. My own power has often scared! I’ve shied away from it, minimizing it as if my light is too bright for others. It’s another story and just fascinates me. I get to another layer of a lessen and then get humbled again as mind does its thing to try and make sense of it all. There are no words or understanding for the power of the soul. I work each day on allowing my personal power to shine and work with any beliefs that pop up around being too big. I enjoy this process because the benefits are just too good to not participate in it. Clarity, inner peace and pure joy are the qualities that I deepen in. There is a power within you that is powerful beyond your imagination. How might you connect to it?