National Overdose Day 08/31/2015

It’s not something I talk about a lot but I thought it important to acknowledge my own experience with overdosing. I’ve overdosed twice in my life; one time that left me in the hospital. The truth about drugs and alcohol is that many people are mixing substances without regard how this will combine and effect the body, mind and spirit. My substance use was about annihilation of my Self. I didn’t like myself and wasn’t conscious of treating myself well. I can remember taking ketamine, meth, valium and ecstasy one night while in Miami at The Winter Music Conference. The next day I got into a fight with a friend about using some more drugs and decided to drive back to Gainesville by myself. I took a massive amount of no-doze, drank coffee and Mountain Dew and ended up in the Infirmary. I was in a full panic attack and they transported me to the hospital where I stayed as the drugs left my body. I was so messed up on the aftermath of substances, I had trouble walking. They had to transport me in a wheelchair. I was in a really bad place inside of myself and struggled for many more years. Looking back I can see how disconnected I was to my true self and didn’t care for myself at all. I just wanted to get fucked up and be someone else in my experience. Interestingly enough, it took many more consequences for me to even consider a change. I was pretty far gone and very much connected with doing drugs and drinking almost every day. Life was incredibly difficult back then. I’m grateful that I made it through those situations and was able to make necessary changes in my life to now live my potential and be of service to others. Today, I recognize and honor all those who didn’t make it through, my dad being one of them. May you find freedom in the next life!

8 Comments

  1. Wes on August 31, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. So grateful you’re here to share it.

    • beverlysa on August 31, 2015 at 7:46 pm

      I don’t think through all the chaos I experienced very often. It doesn’t have a lot of energy for me anymore. However, it was good to reflect and acknowledge that I could have died to several times I overdosed. It’s also good to acknowledge that I put myself in some VERY compromising situations. I know how important safety is now because I used to have such a disregard for it. I’m grateful to be here as well. And I’m thankful I’m someone who was able to use all of the darkness and find the light. Now with Dyer’s passing I feel even more a sense of responsibility to share my light with the world. We need people sharing light. We need people to heal themselves and support conscious healing.

  2. debbie franklin on September 22, 2015 at 1:25 am

    I am honored to know you, Bev, and so grateful you made it through the dark ~ you have so incredibly much light to share with this world!

    • beverlysa on September 22, 2015 at 3:14 am

      I was so surviving for so long; it’s all I thought I could do. I, too, am glad that I made it through and am now shining my light. As I stay course, my light becomes brighter. I see that happening for you as well Debbie! I’m so proud of you and your choice to be an example for your family.

      • debbie franklin on September 23, 2015 at 3:19 am

        Aww, thank you Bev. You’ll prolly never know how vital you have been to my healing . . . tomorrow I’m starting a course with the District Attorney (!!!) and I wouldn’t be brave enough to do any of this without your encouragement. Thank you for being such a blessing to me, and my family. 🙂

        • beverlysa on September 23, 2015 at 5:36 pm

          Wow! I’ve got chills, which for me is surging energy through my body, which happens when I’m connected to Spirit, which happens when something is in alignment. And you,my dear, are in alignment. It amazes me that we were talking about you being an advocate just 6 months ago and look at you now! Basically interning with the D.A. Debbie, you are doing it! It’s happening now. You continue to move through the fear and just go for it. Of course fear comes up! It comes up for me too! However, more and more I see the illusion of fear and reap such rewards while stepping through it. Wow, simple wow! You are reflecting back to me the opportunity we all have to BE our greatness. Thank you SO much for continuing to connect with me and let me in on your journey! You really do lift me up, and that’s saying a lot coming from someone whose sole everyday is about lifting others!

          • debbie franklin on September 24, 2015 at 6:29 am

            Oh my goodness, Bev. Thank you for that. I really do credit your encouragement for where I am now. You’re such an amazing example and support. Those aren’t even big enough words. I started the day with a major panic attack, then a Psych mid-term (aced it), and ended the day shaking the hand (twice!) of my legal hero AND he approached me at the break after we had introduced ourselves to see how HE could help me succeed! Beverly, thank you for believing in me enough and helping me see the possibilities. It’s amazing to have a future. This one’s for you!



          • beverlysa on September 24, 2015 at 3:04 pm

            The days of anxiety holding you back are over. Will there be days that you have anxiety, sure. I do too! However, I NEVER let it stop me anymore. I always work through and it continues to lessen. It doesn’t have a hold on me. When we have PTSD, our bodies are forever sensitive to sensations. That doesn’t mean we can’t show up powerfully. I’m so thrilled that the Universe is supporting you. I’m not surprised. When we get clear and then make conscious choices in alignment with ourselves, things change. Sometimes those choices aren’t what’s popular among our friends and family, but in the long run, it is what’s best for you and all concerned.



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